Oh, once there was a pirate bold
Who thought that he cold cook;
He knew just how to bake a cake —
He'd read it in a book.
He stirred it up, he stirred it down,
He stirred it carefully.
He cooked it in a cooking pot
And served it up for tea.
The crew all took a hopeful bite
And then with one accord
They lifted up the pirate cook
And threw him overboard.
The cook was not so pleased at this,
Until with joy he found
That he could sit upon his cake
And paddle it around.
He paddled it, he paddled it,
He paddled night and day,
Until a porpoise came along
And carried it away.
"That only shows," the pirate said,
"That I know how to bake;
It is not usual for fish
To care for currant cake.
"I knew that I was right", he said
And gently sank below;
And now he keeps a cooking school
To which the mermaids go.