Poem: People Should Listen to Me

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Note from Joe: Everybody knows somebody like this. But nobody thinks of themself this way. What a strange species we are.

People Should Listen to Me

From a 1956 made-for-TV musical called “Jack and the Beanstalk” (1956)
Lyrics by Helen Deutsch. Music by Jerry Livingston.
Original Recording (MP3, 1.61MB)

If people would listen to me,
    The world would run much better!
My way of doing things is very much the best
With the money you invest
And the food that you digest.
    The world would run much better
    If people would obey me to the letter!

Now, people should do as I say.
    It’s wrong of people not to.
I like spinach, so that’s what they should eat;
Put mustard on their meat;
Galoshes on their feet.
    It’s wrong of people not to,
    ‘Cause I’m the one who says they’ve got to!

I know exactly what’s right for everybody,
And exactly what everybody should always do.
My advice is always free
And as simple as ABC;
I merely insist that you agree
That whatever is right for me,
That’s the thing that’s gotta be right for you.

I’m the critic and the captain and the king
    And the judge and the referee.
I know the way the taxes should be filed;
How the rubbish should be piled;
How to discipline your child.
    I’m the judge and the referee,
    So people should listen to me!

I don’t like to raise my voice,
BUT PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID THAT I HAVE NO CHOICE!

People should listen!
People should listen!
People should listen to me!

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