I took my troubles down to Madam Ruth;
You know, that gypsy with the gold-capped tooth.
She’s got a pad down on 34th and Vine
Selling little bottles of Love Potion Number Nine.
I told her that I was a flop with chicks;
I’ve been this way since 1956.
She looked at my palm and she made a magic sign.
She said, “What you need is Love Potion Number Nine.”
She bent down and turned around and gave me a wink.
She said, “I’m gonna mix it up right here in the sink.”
It smelled like turpentine and looked like India ink.
I held my nose ... I closed my eyes ... I took a drink.
I didn’t know if it was day or night!
I started kissing everything in sight!
But when I kissed a cop down on 34th and Vine,
He broke my little bottle of Love Potion Number Nine.
I had so much fun that I’m going back again:
I wonder what happens with Love Potion Number Ten!